#123 People Don’t Buy For Community
On Friday I volunteered for CreativeMornings and the speaker, Paige Hernandez, was INCREDIBLE. Paige is a multidisciplinary artist who is critically acclaimed as a performer, director, choreographer and playwright. At the end of her performance, we had our usual Q&A.
Someone asked Paige, given she has had such a successful career, where she recommends people start with building a meaningful career as a leader and mentor.
“It starts by being in the right room, and the right room is whatever room you want to be in” – Paige Hernandez
I loved this so much even though it's cheesy and simple. It's the best lesson. If you want to reach a goal, or grow as a person, you need to meet the right people. You have to go where your peers and mentors are.
Similarly, if you want to build community, then you have to join communities, and you have to be a leader in communities.
But it's not just about the room right? It's about what you do with it, how you plan it, organize it, and curate it.
And that's what today's essay is about.
Let’s get into it –
I met with a product marketer this week who said, “I admire what you do. Building community seems so hard.” Then she went on to tell me that she’s in seven Slack groups and gets zero value from any of them.
Ouch.
I see this all the time... people launching “communities” that are little more than empty chat forums. A Slack channel (or many), a branded Circle community, maybe a Facebook group. But no real experience.
That’s not community building. That’s creating a waiting room and hoping people will talk to each other.
People don’t buy for community.
They buy for transformation – They need (want) a roadmap or a step-by-step process that helps them get to an outcome.
They engage through programming – They get results because of your curriculum and live events.
They stay because of community – Along the way, they make true connections that make them want to stick around.
Build a strong member journey
Think about a really well-run event. You don’t just show up and hope for the best. There’s an agenda, a flow, maybe even a track you can choose based on your goals. You’re guided from one thing to the next, and along the way you meet people who are on a similar path.
Community is no different. It’s not enough to send a welcome email and hope members poke around. Every touchpoint should be designed.
Onboarding should introduce people to peers who share their goals, not just give them a PDF or resource list.
Programming should create momentum. Members should feel like they’re hitting milestones, not wandering in circles.
Connection moments should feel natural, but behind the scenes you’ve architected them. (Think: curated introductions, subgroups, or meetups.)
The goal isn’t to overwhelm people with features. It’s to build a journey where progress and connection feel inevitable.
Designing for serendipity
The best communities create moments that look spontaneous but are anything but. “Serendipity by design” means engineering the conditions for magic to happen. That could be:
Pairing two members with similar goals during onboarding
Creating a mastermind opportunity inside your program so people with shared challenges meet regularly
Encouraging members to host their own local meetups, then spotlighting their stories
These moments don’t happen because you posted a thoughtful question in a forum. They happen because you’ve curated a path that makes them likely.
Your next steps:
Write down your community’s transformation promise. If it feels vague, tighten it.
Audit your onboarding. Are members leaving orientation with momentum and new connections?
Map out touchpoints. Where will members experience wins, meet people, and feel seen?
Build for serendipity. How can you create opportunities for people to have meaningful connection?
The truth is, “meet like-minded people” is no longer enough. Members want progress, purpose, and proof that this journey is worth it.
And when you design that journey with care, the community becomes the reason they’ll never want to leave.
If you loved this, you can subscribe to the weekly newsletter here for free! I send a bunch of resources & share a bts happenings of my business in the email version.
If you want support mapping this out, reach out to my agency! Journey mapping is one of my favorite parts of the work we do at Affinity Collective.
Listen to an expanded version of today's essay on the podcast!