#126 The Art Of A Handwritten Note
If you've worked with Affinity, then you have probably met one of my best friends, Danielle Walker.
Danielle and I have worked together for years. We started as co-workers at a custom software agency when she was a product manager and I was a product designer. We co-founded a company together to help people pivot to tech, we both taught cohort programs for General Assembly (D still does!), and now we're building Affinity together.
Last night I was at her wedding! Please enjoy this selfie before we get the professional photos back 😂
Danielle read The Art Of Gathering before planning her wedding, and she's also an incredible community strategist for all of our clients... so I reveled in taking notes of all the little ways she connected people to each other during their celebration weekend.
There was one thing she did in particular that I knew I had to share with you – it's relevant for online communities too so stick with me!
Let’s get into it –
Last night at Danielle's wedding every single person was blown away by a handwritten letter at their place setting. She even had a photo on each one that was unique to that person – a perfectly placed memory from the past... and a built in conversation starter.
Everyone wanted to share their photo and tell the story behind it. I was sitting next to someone that had a photo from prom on his 😂.
The photo on my card was from Danielle's engagement party when I ended up at a rave in a turtleneck.
Getting a handwritten note at Danielle's wedding last night wasn't the first time I was blown away by a handwritten letter this year.
In June I went to my friend Jay Clouse's Lab members retreat in Boise ahead of Craft + Commerce. There were 40 of us that attended and when we walked in on day 1 – you guessed it – we each had a personal note waiting for us.
When you're creating community experiences the most important thing is to make people feel like they belong.
This note was a super thoughtful touch and gave people a sense of belonging. I obviously didn't read everyones cards, but reading mine made me feel like my being in the room was super valued.
Walking into a room of creators (many of them more successful than you) can be intimidating. Jay immediately removed that by reminding each person that they were meant to be there.
Quick aside – those two retreat recap episodes on the podcast were my most popular episodes (listen here).
Notes To Customers
If you know me, you know I'm obsessed with supporting local businesses and small online businesses. If I need a new dress for an event, I hit up my local boutique.
My friend Allie owns a gym clothing brand, Pseudo Force, and it has absolutely blown up over the last few years. She has thrived with TikTok Shop, her drops sell out instantly, and she recently expanded to a warehouse. I'm super proud of her.
Community is at the root of everything she does with her business. She's selling clothes but, more importantly, she's bringing people together to feel bada** at the gym... even if they're newbies.
All of her clothing designs are in her amazing handwriting... and so how cool is it that she sends a handwritten note with every single purchase?
How to bring the “handwritten note strategy” online:
Maybe you're not bringing people together for a retreat or in-person event, and maybe you're not selling physical products... but you can still apply this strategy. Here's how –
Personalize your onboarding. Instead of a generic welcome email, record a short Loom or voice note for each new member. Mention their application or something unique about them so they feel seen right away.
Celebrate renewals with intention. Don’t just send a receipt. Use renewals as a moment to reflect their growth back to them — share a milestone they’ve hit, a stat from their journey, or a reminder of how far they’ve come.
Design conversation starters. Danielle’s photos sparked stories at her wedding — you can replicate this by curating member spotlights, buddy intros, or kickoff prompts that give people something to share right away.
Systematize the magic. You don’t have to handwrite 100 letters yourself. Block 30 minutes each week to send three thoughtful notes (handwritten if you have addresses, otherwise video/voice notes). Over time, those small touches compound into deep loyalty.