#113 What Does Your Community Feel Like?
I had a long FaceTime with my friend Julian this week. We talked about community (of course), but at one point he asked a question that sent me straight to my Notes app.
“What does it feel like to be in a really great digital community?”
Not what makes one work, or how to scale it, or what features it should include. Just... how does it feel?
The answer came instantly.
It feels like my favorite group chat.
Every day, I check in with my business besties Jess and Cheyenne. We share voice notes, random updates, vulnerable thoughts, and tiny wins. It’s where I go when I need encouragement, clarity, or just to feel seen. It’s consistent. It’s honest. It’s supportive. It’s sticky in the best way.
And it made me realize – this is what the best digital communities feel like too. I'm not talking tactics here, so this isn't about the mechanics of a 3-person group chat. It's about the feeling of returning home in many ways.
Community that feels good… sticks.
When a community feels like home, you come back to it without being reminded. It becomes a regular rhythm. Something you reach for when you need support, perspective, or a push.
That’s what I feel in communities like Jay Clouse’s The Lab. I’ve been a member for years, and it’s the first place I go when I want inspiration, feedback, or to get reconnected to my work as a creator.
And just like a favorite app you check every day – your sleep data, your habits, your workouts – a community can become sticky. The more you engage, the more context you build. The more context you build, the more value it holds. And before long, it’s not just helpful. It’s personal.
Creating a place people want to return to
There’s a big difference between a community that checks the boxes and a community that feels like coming home. The difference often isn’t in the platform or the post frequency. It’s in how people feel when they show up.
When you build a space that feels safe, generous, and alive with purpose, people bring their real selves. They share honestly. They celebrate wins. They show up even when they’re not sure what they need.
That kind of culture doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when the community builder leads with values, models vulnerability, and is willing to show up as a human first.
A question worth sitting with
So I’ll pass Julian’s question along to you:
What does it feel like to be in your community?
Not what you hope it will become, but how it feels right now for the people inside it. Does it feel like home? Like they belong? Like they want to come back tomorrow?
Here are a few more questions to reflect on:
What parts of your community feel like a warm, familiar rhythm?
Where might members feel unsure, overwhelmed, or uninvited?
What behaviors are you modeling, and what values are consistently lived?
How can you create a space that feels good to be part of, not just useful?
This isn’t a call to fix everything. It’s a prompt to feel into what you’re building. Because the best communities don’t just deliver results. They help people feel like they belong while they’re getting there.
If you’re sitting with this too, I’d love to hear what’s coming up for you.
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