#151 Why You Might Want To Shut Down Your Community
If you've been around for a while then you know I went on a long 18+ months health journey to balance my hormones, lower my blood sugar, lose 40+ lbs, and regulate my nervous system.
And if you didn't know all that... I give a lot of credit to my business success + growth to my health journey. Focusing on my health & vitality has made me so much more intentional about how I grow my business.
In the beginning I thought I was learning about nutrition and hormones, but later I realized the most useful lesson I learned was how to regulate my nervous system.
I've been struggling with a decision a friend of mine made to shut down her community. Sometimes I see the potential for communities to be great, but founders are so checked out and don't want to play the long game. It makes me super frustrated... especially when it's a friend.
But this week when I was recording a podcast I was talking to the host and had a huge realization why this happens.
And it goes beyond the obvious "I'm pouring so much into this and just not seeing enough upside" ... it's actually deeper than that.
Let's get into it –
I was recording a podcast with my client Patrick Casale on Friday and we started talking about nervous system signals when knowing if the community you want to build is right for you.
My team at Affinity is building Patrick a membership for neurodivergent entrepreneurs. Patrick is a therapist, TEDx speaker, retreat host, and he also has ADHD & Autism.
When Patrick started his content and coaching business, he worked a lot with other therapists helping them build group practices.
We talked about how he has had community on his mind for a long time… he could have built a membership for therapists a long time ago (and probably made a good amount of money from that), but it never felt quite right.
Recently he’s been hosting retreats & coaching more neurodivergent entrepreneurs and in those conversations his nervous system feels regulated, and he feels really good. He describes it as a space where attendees are unmasking because it’s a safe space to be themselves and connect with others like them.
I want to pause and define nervous system regulation if this is a new phrase for you (this is literally google AI because I'm not a scientist) –
Nervous system regulation is the ability of the body to balance its stress-response systems (sympathetic "fight-or-flight") and calming systems (parasympathetic "rest-and-digest"). It involves shifting from high arousal to calm, allowing for emotional stability, resilience, and presence.
When you’re thinking about building community and who you want to serve, I want you to pay attention to the feeling in your body. Your body sends you signals – safety, regulated, excited … or the opposite.
Pay attention to this feeling – this is trusting your body and your intuition.
It’s SO important to feel good in the rooms you create, because building a community is a long game.
Most of the time when I talk to clients that want to “shut down” what they’ve built, it’s because they don’t feel good in rooms with their community… and that’s such a bummer.
And I also think it’s something we can avoid.
Building a membership can be a super smart, strategic decision to grow your revenue... but it's a people product! You can't set & forget it, or delegate it without a lot of intention and care. Pay attention to the signals your body sends you and build the right thing.
If you don't build community for the right reasons, it's going to fail because eventually your body will betray you. You'll check out.
Entrepreneurs are the people that are most likely to buck tradition. We didn't choose a traditional path, we decided to design our lives, create our own jobs, and do what we want to do.
Tap into the intuition of what feels right and not just what looks right on a financial forecast... especially when we're bringing people together. That's fragile and the impacts are huge – culture, reputation, etc.
I'm feeling super philosophical today. If you liked this, check out my latest podcast episode on why another community won't work in 2026.
I'm thinking a lot about how our world is evolving with AI and what impact that has on the communities we build. We need to take a lot of care in how we design these spaces, and what really makes them stand out. Because another copy-paste community experience won't survive our new reality.
I'd love to jam on any of the above with you – and if you're on a health journey PLEASE reach out. I'd love to share notes.